It's not rocket surgery.

Friday, April 22, 2005

Minty fresh

So I'm one of those people who wear contacts. You probably recognize us from all the face squishing, blinking, and general looks of misery this time of year. I also have allergies, which makes for all around bad times. It's about time for a new pair of disposables.

Disposables in theory are great: wear 'em for a month, out they go.

But here's a secret that I don't want anyone to know, but I'm telling you, because we're friends: I'm a cheap, lazy ass. I wear them longer than I should, until my eyes are red & itchy & ready to pop themselves out of my head and run away & dunk themselves in a nice saline bath, and each time, I swear I won't do it again, but I always do, because I'm also stupid.

What I really think I need is contacts that dissolve in the eyes, and make them minty fresh, because I think my eyes kinda stink also.

Thursday, April 21, 2005

WTF?

So I haven't been sleeping well. And I know it's because I'm a lazy ass & don't get enough exercise. Fine. I'm waiting for my gym to open. Really. Once that gym opens, I'll be a work-out machine. Just like the stairmaster is a work-out machine. So maybe that's not a good metaphore.

But I'm sitting at work thinking "Hmm. Maybe I'll go jogging tonight." I haven't run for anything but the CTA in years, and there's two very good reasons why that's true (wink wink).

Deep down I know that if I jog anywhere, it'll be to the Pork Chop Depot to get me a pockchop sandwich (bone in) and some fries. Nothing like a greasy pork chop at the end of a good workout.

Friday, April 15, 2005

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

So I accidentally got old. I was at a rock show last night, and this morning I'm old. My knees hurt.

Anyway, I saw Baby Teeth. If ELO & an apostalic tent gospel choir went to a Zappa show, and ELO got knocked up, and then they made a 50's style education film strip about it, and you watched it with your college friends while smoking a bong made out of a whiffel bat, that would be kinda what Baby Teeth sound like. I think I still have some irony stuck to the bottom of my shoe.

Viva Voce played also. I put the guitar player in my pocket & took her home. She's in a little cage with a wheel. She's adorable when she crinkles her nose at me. Later, I might take her out & let her run around in her ball.

Thursday, April 14, 2005

Have you heard of this blogging thing?

Well, Hello 21st century! I feel like I should be writing some Judy Blume-esque revalation here, but I got nothing. So on with the snark.

So, you ride the CTA. Have you noticed the new Eric & Kathy posters? I love them so much.

Years ago, I would have told you that Eric looks like the deli counter manager at Jewel, and Kathy is a dental hygenist. Well, they've been given makeovers!

Kathy, bless her suburban heart, is still a dental hygenist, but Eric! Woo woo! He's been given the Ben Sherman treatment! The shirt open to just the right button, the hipster necklace, and the hair, artfully mussed! Now instead of the deli counter manager, he looks like the manager of Urban Outfitters! Way to aim for the Indie Rock star-tatoo crowd guys! I'm sure they'll be beating down the door for the Kelly Clarkson tickets.

I love them as much a I possible could without actually listening to the Mix. Kathy has a blog too. It's awesome.